Here There and Everywhere

Making choices is something we seem to have to make at every moment, so how do we ever feel as though our choices have been governed by something that isn’t ourselves? For example, eating that sweet tasting warm cookie or doughnut even though we are trying to eat healthily, or watching TV for that extra couple of hours even though we have more productive tasks to be doing.

Who is in control of our choices?

I have asked the question to myself many times… who is really in control of my decisions? I come to various conclusions depending on the choices I have been making. When I am being disciplined and living a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise and meditation, I feel as though I am making these decisions since I know this is best for my physical, mental and spiritual well-being. When I play a video game for hours, or eat ultra-processed food all day, I feel as though my craving mind has taken over to try and find that hit of dopamine and short-term pleasure in these actions.

In reality, it is always us who is making the decision, but I believe that knowing where it comes from is the key to unlocking a new potential in yourself. When making certain decisions, I ask whether it is best for my physical, mental, or spiritual growth. If not, I determine whether it is a decision to gain short-term gratification or pleasure.

There are still many times where I make decisions which I feel guilty about later on in life, or in the day, but my mistake when I make choices which aren’t best for me is blaming myself and mentally punishing myself for doing so.

Over the last few years I have learnt to understand that you cannot change your mind patterns and manipulating temptation tactics in a day, or even ever and so it takes time to create a distance between yourself and negative self-talk. Being aware of it brings a whole new perspective to how your mind will control you if you let it, but don’t try to block out or become frustrated if you notice the mind doing these things, it will only make it worse.

My experience implementing small changes

Going back in time to the year 2020… although I had plenty to be grateful for (and should have realised this at the time), I felt there was a void in life. I let my physical and mental health slip by making small choices which turned into bigger changes with every decision. I ate whatever I craved, I drank every day after work, and once I stopped drinking I turned to smoking marijuana daily. All of these choices caused me to be unmotivated, unhealthy and avoid social interaction.

After about a year of this, I finally hit a wall where something clicked and I asked myself why am I making these choices in my life when it is clearly for short-term enjoyment, or to escape my actual reality. This is a good questions to ask yourself occasionally.

As soon as I came to this realisation that I was trying to escape responsibility, I decided I needed to introduce some discipline to my life. Every day I would do at least 30 minutes of exercise, 10 minutes of mediation and write a page in a journal. These small changes allowed me to develop discipline and detachment from the minds want of pleasure and grew into making more and more changes which made me feel better in the long term.

After making these changes, it is no coincidence that things in life started coming together. I met a wonderful woman who loved me for who I am, I got a well-paid job to fulfill my dream of traveling which I got to do with my partner, and my physical and mental health was rapidly improving. Making these small changes every day allowed me to live a life of responsibility, but also freedom.

People believe that having disciplines is putting yourself in mental cage, but it really gives you freedom to live the life you really want and I would urge everyone to have at least one discipline which they do every day, no matter how small and you will soon see positive changes.

In conclusion

No matter how small you think your choices may be, they typically lead to something bigger. Having one more snack or drink leads to a breakdown of that discipline muscle in your mind, but allowing that time for a meditation or physical practice can build it.

There are many other examples of small choices leading to big changes in different situations, but I think I have rambled on enough and hope you can take something away from this…